Not with a Bang but with a Wimper

Well I am now waiting in Heathrow to head home. The past two weeks have been really good. They have given me the opportunity to think about what God would have me do with my life. This experience was significantly different than my trip to Germany. Germany was certainly a lot more fun, however this trip was quite rewarding in other ways. I had the opportunity to hear lectures by experts in their fields and I realized that I am not as smart as I thought I was. During the first few days, I was sad and frustrated. I was sad because I felt like none of the people liked me. I drew this from a conversation with a girl I had on the first day. She was German and I tried to speak to her in German. It was one of the most challenging conversations I had ever had. I don't think i made a very good impression. It was obvious from her face. To make matters worse, there was a guy she talked to later and she clearly seemed to enjoy talking to him more. This is a fundamentally different experience from what I experienced in Germany. In many ways, that experience shaped a lot of how I felt the first four days. Beyond that, all anyone wanted to talk about was what project they were working on and their schools and professors and the like. I just wanted to make friends so i wouldn't feel so lonely anymore. I woke up early one morning and began to wonder if my plans were really what God wanted me to do. I began yelling at him in my head: "Do you even want me to be a professor? Why are you making me look so dumb and weak in front of all these people?" In that moment, I really felt God speak to me. I don't often have those moments, but this one felt pretty clear: God seemed to be saying "You need to be humbled." That has been a recurring theme these past two weeks. Time after time I lost theological and even historical arguments and my loneliness persisted.
 I spent a good amount of this trip yelling at God, and not really feeling his presence that much. Despite this, the trip was fantastic. I ended up making some good friends on the trip, and ultimately, I am somewhat sad to go. I am not sitting in the terminal openly weeping in the terminal like I was when I came home from Germany, but I will miss Oxford. That said, I am very happy to go home. Gloucester is my home and nowhere else that In have ever been feels more like home. When I am not there, I am unsettled, though only slightly. I miss sitting on the cannons at Stage Fort Park and looking into the harbor. I miss my couch, my bed, my friends and family. I miss my church and the youth group. Oxford is not home. It is beautiful, but it is not home. I think that is how a Christian ought to feel about the world. This world is not our home, it is a foreign country, one which we are called to witness to and to be embassadors. I am still trying to understand that as I feel so connected to my home. It is a struggle for me to call somewhere home that I have never been. I am still working on that. At any rate, I don't know if I will be a professor or not anymore, but I have been accepted into one masters program, now to find out what I will do from here. God will lead me, and he will lead you as well if you make yourself open to him.
"O my God, in you I trust; let me not be put to shame; let not my enemies exult over me. Indeed, none who wait for you shall be put to shame"-Ps. 25:2-3

London

Well I can now check "get yelled at by a British cavalryman" off of my bucket list. This was one of the many awesome things that happened in London today. Our day began at 8:45 this morning when we boarded a bus and headed for London. We arrived in Baker St. near where Sherlock Holmes supposedly lived (sorry everyone, he's ficticious). Jonathan told expressed his joy that we had the day to ourselves and then told us that we could follow him or do whatever we wanted, but to meet at Westminster Abbey for Evensong at 5. We then journeyed to the British Library wherein we saw many remarkable things. They had the Lindesfarne gospels on display, along with Codex Sinaiticus (the first complete manuscript of the Bible, written in Greek and discovered at St. Catherine's monastery) and (my personal favorite) a manuscript of Bach's "Well Tempered Clavier".

Our next destination was the British museum. When my friend Elizabeth (hereafter referred to as El) noticed we were one person short, I stayed with her at the library until we were all accounted for and then we proceeded to the museum. Initially, we believed that we would be late to the museum but we actually arrived seconds before the rest of the group.

Once inside the museum, we walked into a massive hall with a glass ceiling and a series of Greek style fasades at different entry points. I am incapable of describing the scene well, so I shall let the pictures do the talking. We did a quick walk around in the museum and then journeyed off to the national gallery in Trafalgar square. Below are pictures of the more notable paintings. I was sad to find that their collection of Rembrandts were lacking.

After this, we walked to Westminster Abbey, seeing Big Ben and Parliament, as well as a government building guarded by ceremonial guardsmen clad in cuirasses and riding on horses. I was standing to the right of the guards who were riding forward in line of column. I was taking a picture and did not notice that they were wheeling right until one of the guards shouted "Stand clear of the guard!"

As we continued toward Westminster Abbey, I and a friend called Denis stopped to take a picture of big Ben. We stopped for no more than 10 seconds and in that time our entire group had left us alone, having gone on to the Abbey. We continued on, believing Parliament to be Westminster Abbey until we asked where the Evensong service was being held. The lady at the door directed us where to go, and we crossed the street and entered the abbey and attended the choral evensong. Although we got lost, we got some great pictures of big Ben and Parliament.

After evensong, we went to a market to get food for dinner. Outside the market we walked along a river wherein were multiple cars which did not belong. As it turned out, it was not a river at all, but instead a watermain had burst under the road and had created a geyser that broke up the pavement and then flooded the street. In the words of Mycal Felps (mispelling intentional, look it up) "Pretty crazy, right?"

We ate a nice dinner in a park where the squirrels came right up to us and weren't afraid. Next we saw Buckingham Palace and came home. It was a good day. Do enjoy the pictures!

Assyrian siege engine

Jehu (from the Bible) prostrating himself before Senacherib, King of Assyria.